A couple months ago I worked with my brother-in-law Zach to change out the hard drive in my computer. He did all the software stuff, I did the replacing of the physical bits. As we started the process, Zach narrated what he was doing. Soon into the process, I started to feel uncomfortable. He said something I didn’t understand. He was going to do something I didn’t immediately see the need for. Anxious questions surfaced. I started to doubt that Zach, whose help I had solicited because of his expertise, was going to do it right.
Fear.
Fear tells me that if I don’t understand something, it won’t work. Fear limits my options. Fear requires exact parameters for success. It makes statements and constructs walls. Fear leads to mistrust.
Before getting too deep into it, I recognized my fear. I took a deep breath, considered my options, and chose to walk away. I told him that it was best for me not to know what he was going to do and to trust that he will not mess things up. I chose faith.
I had an experience recently. Last week, I reached out to a friend. Usually, I wait until I have a clear understanding of what I need or want when I reach out. When I made the decision that day, I had no conscious awareness of what I was needing or wanting. All I knew was that some part of me believed it was the right thing to do in that moment. As I acted on that impulse, that Holy Spirit nudge, clarity came. In our interaction that day, my understanding deepened. In the doing of the thing I did not understand, I was ministered to and needs of mine were met.
Faith.
Faith invites me to try it out and see. Faith expands possibilities. Faith can work with most anything. Faith asks questions and wonders about what is and what may be. It draws me toward curiosity and creativity.
Julian of Norwich famously wrote:
“All shall be well;
and all shall be well;
and all manner of things shall be well.”
Both fear and faith are responses to the unknown, to what I do not understand. Fear encourages me to respond with anxiety. Faith invites curiosity and courage. Whether or not things look as though they are getting better, I am finding it helpful to believe “all shall be well.” I am better able and more likely to act in healthier and more helpful ways coming from faith than if I act out of fear.
This day, and every day, may you grow toward faith. May you grow to trust that, indeed, “all manner of things shall be well.” Amen.
Rachael