Recently, I asked a friend to pray for me. As I made the request, I was struck by how seldom I do this. I used to ask others for prayer more often. Life has pulled me out of the habit, and it’s been a while.
Curiosity led me into reflection. Here are my first thoughts:
- I am a private person; I tend to hold my cards close to my chest. This is my default. I have learned to honor this, and to wait until I feel safe and ready to share. I have also learned I can vary the level of detail I choose to share based on whether the person I am interacting with has earned the privilege to hear my story.
- Asking for prayer requires a level of vulnerability. It requires me to be honest, first with myself, and then with another. It requires me to admit that I need help, that I have a need. That I am not able to do it all on my own. It goes against the Great American Model of Self-sufficiency. Here’s the thing: we are not built for self-sufficiency. We are created for community. It is part of the design that we reach out to others in our need, and are reached out to in our neighbors’ need. Reciprocal relationships are what weave the fabric of community together.
- In a culture that praises the helpers and those with resources to help, it can be hard to admit I am one who needs help. Isn’t it interesting that so many of the requests for prayer during worship are on behalf of another? I am part of this. When I ask for prayer on behalf of another, I get to be the one helping, and that feels good. I am more likely to request prayers on behalf of another than I am to ask for myself – especially in a group. I was taught this. Part of my religious upbringing included putting all others before myself, and this included in prayer. The good thing about being taught things is I can unlearn them by practicing something different.
Here’s why I want more often to practice asking you to pray for me. When I ask:
I am reminded I am not alone. Not only am I reminded that God is with me, I am reminded that I have people in my life who care about me and want to support me.
I get to practice being human. I’ve spent enough of my life’s energy trying hard to be something other than the imperfect, needy, wounded person I am. When I ask for prayer, I practice being me. Exactly me, as I am. When I am me, exactly as I am, it is easier for me to connect with you, exactly as you are. Us, you and I, connecting a real human persons, that is what community is all about.
For the sake of practice:
Will you pray for me?
Rachael