I have anger. It has been my close companion for many a week now. The surge of energy in my body, the tenseness in my muscles, the restlessness, the fantasizing about destroying things.
“Anger is the deepest form of compassion,” David Whyte writes, because it reminds us what is most important to us and helps us to protect that. “Stripped of physical imprisonment and violent reaction, anger is the purest form of care, the internal living flame of anger always illuminates what we belong to, what we wish to protect and what we are willing to hazard ourselves for.”1 The invitation is to embrace the anger and learn its wisdom.
Anger is an emotion with a specific function; it’s purpose is to protect us from a threat. It gives us both discomfort to motivate us to change something and the energy with which to change it.
According to Marsha Linehan, these are some of the reasons people experience anger:
- Having a desire or an important goal blocked
- You or someone you care about being attacked or threatened
- Losing power, status, or respect
- Physical or emotional pain
- Not having things turn out as expected2
I see all these things as symptoms of this pandemic.
The difficult thing about now is that we are being asked to NOT do in response to the threat of COVID-19. We are being asked to stay home. Before all this started, I would take my anger to the rec center and sweat it out. Now, I am left without that outlet.
The invitation is for me to get creative. The same energy I have the impulse to use for destruction I can direct toward creation. Toward making something new. So far, the basement is more organized, weeds have begun to be pulled, and 2.75 cat scratchers have been taken apart and rebuilt. That’s aside from pictures drawn and blog posts written.
Bless this anger.
May you honor and accept it as a teacher and a guide.
May this anger reveal to you what you hold most dear.
May you learn from it care, for yourself and those you love.
Bless this anger.
Bless.
Bless.
Amen.
Rachael
1 From Consolations, by David Whyte. 2017.
2 From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition, by Marsha M. Linehan. 2015.